Destiny…they keep telling me it’s mine to determine!!!

 Seriously.  Anyone who honestly believes that we are in charge of everything that happens to us in our lives really needs to open their eyes. When you do you will see that this very popular view is a crock.

 

We are so dependant on other people. For example, if you want a job you can’t force someone to hire you. You can’t determine that destiny for yourself  because the decision ultimately relies upon another persons opinion of you. So that puts another in charge of that particular destiny. You can certainly try your hardest to influence the outcome of your attempt to get that job, but at the end of the day somebody else decides, your success or your failure is in the hands of another.

The same goes with many aspects of life. So many things depend on somebody else’s judgement, somebody else’s opinion and somebody else’s approval other than our own.

Sickness and death are not exactly choices either. At least not all sickness and death. (I sometimes wonder if some people commit suicide because they feel it’s the only thing about their life they can control). We are all destined to die. We cannot control that. In fact most of us cannot control when where and how we are going to die.

Natural disasters have determined the destinies of many.  Who wants to be destined to live in poverty because a flood or a hurricane has destroyed everything they own? Nobody chooses that. How can we be in control of our own destiny when the earth is so unpredictable?

People who get kidnapped and/or raped and/or murdered have very little control over those situations I’m sure. Their destiny whether they survive their ordeal or not, and the destiny of their loved ones, has most certainly been determined by someone other than themselves.

Most of our destinies are going to be determined by outside influences, be they other people or events. Let’s stop kidding ourselves and think we have so much control over our lives. We haven’t. As soon as we realise this we can then work on teaching our kids to accept the reality that things may not go as planned rather than filling their heads with all of this…you determine your own destiny rubbish.  It simply is not true.

That’s not to say we don’t have choices. We do. But there are times we really don’t have a choice or our choices are greatly influenced by the threat of a ruthless consequence if we don’t choose a certain way.  

We cannot determine what will happen in the future. We cannot determine what others will think of us. We cannot force others to give us what we want.

Mostly, our destiny is in the hands of others. We should therefore be more focused on how we can influence our destiny rather than being taught how to control it. Know what you want, go out to get it and understand that it may not happen. The best way to cope with disappointment is to be prepared for it!